Hi,
My main belief when working with any client for any issue is that my role is to help that client find the resources within themselves to help themelves. As a therapist, I may act as a guide for short period of time, (look at this, how do you feel about that etc) but ultimately my aim is to help them become their own guide and trust their own intuition.
Part of my approach is to ensure that they know I am there to help empower them, not to make them dependent on me, and a major part of this is the idea of self-responsibility.
Many clients, who feel a victim of circumstances, people, whether relatives, friends or colleagues, will utilise blame as a way of coping. Yet for me, blame is a lack of coping with an upseting event or experience. Blame may be descibed as "bad luck", "fate", or "it always happens to me" etc by a client.
Clients who think they have little or no control over their lives tend to be the ones with low self-esteem and confidence. Getting them to take responsibility for what happens to them and see the part they have played when matters don't go to plan, I believe, can be a big step in wresting back control and as a result gaining healthy self-confidence.
I will often find a small and manageble task or goal that a client has avoided but wanted to do, as a way of getting them to build their confidence and idea of "can do" rather than "can't do, won't do or I am afraid to fail" .
In my opinion, we, and our clients feel a lot happier about our world when we feel confident that we can make a difference to what happens to us. Through that healthy self-confidence we are more likely to go for that new opportunity, reach for that goal and live up to our idea of our potential.
I would love to hear anyone else's ideas and thoughts on self-responsibility and confidence and how you help your clients with these.
Best wishes
Steve Harold